lol

yep this totally didn't happen. At least, not YET. Eh heh. Basically I first had a week full of agonizing procrastination on studying/working on school stuff, with lots of important grades all around, for a little over a week. Then, the next week, early access to Il-2 Sturmovik Battle of Stalingrad began, which completely swallowed up the middle of the week, lol (the only time it's available to play is Tuesday-Thursday each week for the time being). Then I had yet more tests and shite to study for, and I started playing my other flightsims a lot, and my sleep schedule has gotten more fucked up than I thought possible. I didn't completely forget about this here li'l project, but I definitely never really felt like working on it. I don't think there's been any time these last couple weeks until now when I was either playing Il-2 while I should've been studying or working, or else wasting time on other games or the internet instead of studying or working, or playing Il-2 while I should've been sleeping, or sleeping while I should've been studying/working/going to class. I've slept through a lot of classes this semester. Bad, I know :(,   My long-time tendency to stay up late continues even now that bedtime is really late in the first place, so I always stay up reeeaaally late, and then things get weird. Particularly recently, when I actually started staying up all night like every other night for a little while.

But anyways, finally I'm back here. Actually I've never written from here before, I'm in my wubbly's dorm room late at night cause her roommate already went home for thanksgiving break. She's writing in her journal, and I'm sitting here typing this on her li'l laptop. We're so cuuuute. hehe.

Yeah, so the reason I'm finally doing this again is that as of 9:30 pm this evening I finally finished all my school obligations for before Thanksgiving break, and now I simply await the time tomorrow when I ride home with my sister and my wubbly and another friend.

Agh, so the screen has a few little particles of unidentified matter on it that show up as black, and I keep on accidentally seeing them as little ants, cause back in my dorm, a bunch of ants have taken to living in the basement with us now that it's gotten cold outside. Friggin squatters.

Oh yeah, just remembered, all my hogwash about not being motivated and being tired and depressed and whatnot. Basically, while I stopped worrying about it, as I usually tend to do, I also didn't really change my habits much. Like I said, sleep schedule is still crazy shite. Though I did actually spend a bit more time studying and stuff, and I actually did get that big essay done on time.

And then the time I fucked everything up again, Providence shone down brightly on me as it tends to do once in a while, eh heh. Some people tend to notice that I really am quite the lucky bastard. Situational luck aside, I have a tendency to have remarkable luck sometimes in relation to me failing at something or acting in a way that will potentially make things a lot worse for me, or just being lazy or whatever, but then somehow it often all just seems to work out alright anyhow. My mexican friend used to call it my Divine Force. He's a really weird kid. But yeah, I had sort of a theory about that. I seem lucky in comparison to other people, because I leave more room for luck to happen. While other kids work hard and study hard and spend a lot of time and effort on their schoolwork, I tend to put in rather minimal effort and time. This puts me in dangerous situations grade-wise, but usually things work out anyways because I don't generally make terrible decisions when it comes down to it, and I'm good at figuring things out last minute and such. And then sometimes there are seriously lucky things, like when just a couple days ago I stayed up all night, didn't study for a test, finally started studying for the test, and then promptly fell asleep. Then I woke up 15 minutes before the test, rushed there, presumed myself dead meat, and then... no one was there to give out the test. There was supposed to be a substitute teacher to hand out the test, but they didn't show. So the test didn't happen, and my butt was saved. Things like that. Basically, most people (my peers at least, generally people who are intelligent and work fairly hard at the least) know that it's really not smart to just leave things to luck and hope for the best, so they work hard to ensure that they don't need luck. They study and do the work on time. I don't study as much and often do not get work done on time. This leaves a lot of room for just hoping that luck will turn out well. And oftentimes it does, and then it appears that I'm a particularly lucky person. Which is just a direct result of me being just poorly motivated and kind of a bastard. Lol. So yeah, I'm pretty much just getting all the extra luck that my peers are all tossing to the side because they'd rather not need it, and so I just scrounge it all up and use that instead of hard work.

I'm a weird person. ahue.

When writing essays, as of like 11th grade we started being taught not to use passive verbs, because it makes our writing sound apparently less interesting/weaker. Which makes sense, but then I think it's also really a matter of style. My English teachers generally said that I wrote pretty well, namely because I just write how I speak, which ends up flowing well if I organize it correctly/put in the effort because it's an essay for a grade. But then when there are requirements of avoiding passive verbs, the essay writing suddenly becomes much harder, because my natural tone/style involves me not giving a shite what I write, and usually writing a good number of passive verbs into my otherwise apparently good writing(at least, I've been told it's pretty good. iono. Probably just sometimes it comes out well, but not most of the time.). So essays that teachers/professors expect to be written without passive verbs make essays suddenly much more hassle than they would ordinarily be. I can generally come up with good ways to avoid the passive verbs, but it takes time, and reduces the ever-important word count by linking longer sentences together into a shorter one, and then occasionally I just can't think of a way to do it.

Huh. Originally I wrote "cant" instead of "can't" and spellcheck didn't bat a single pretty little eyelash. Or wait, is there a word "cant" that's used in english, like short for an Italian word or something? Iono. Dont. Don't. Welp spellcheck cared about that one, so I guess maybe cant is a word in its dictionary. I'll look it up sometime.

On that topic though, I kind of dislike how language so invariably evolves and changes. Of course, at first it was free form, but then dictionaries were written and rules were made, and they were kept for quite some time. When people are using language incorrectly, proper rules or spellings or meanings can be cited to prove that they're wrong. But what bugs me, is that as language changes, in order to continue to be relevant, the dictionaries and whatnot change along with the language, and so basically if people start making up their own rules for the game, all they have to do is get enough people to do it and then it becomes the rule. It's essentially might makes right, in a direct democracy kind of way, the kind of governing I am probably more afraid of than any other. I used to be able to correct a person if they wrote the word hiccup, when in fact, though the word sounds like hiccup, it is actually spelled hiccough. Except nowadays if I point to a dictionary to prove myself, unless it's like a big old very comprehensive dictionary, it'll just say hiccup. Because enough people were ignorant for enough time, what was technically correct changed, just like that. Of course I could always try to cite the history of the word or something to try to convince them that really I'm right and that the dictionary just says what it does cause it's an ign'ant hoe, but then I'd just be a huge nerd and they probably wouldn't believe me anyways. It's like if enough people take vibrating dildos and start using them to smear shite all over themselves regularly and call it cleaning for enough time, then suddenly cleaning in its correct meaning will actually refer to the rubbing of one's shite on oneself with a vibrating phallus. Madness. Lol, I've been watching too many Zero Punctuation video game reviews.

I don't actually care about the whole above paragraph all the much lol, considering there's really no reason to justify my feelings in any way except for having a tight, or rather, the very tightest, of asses. I'm still gonna keep writing hiccough though. (I don't actually go and correct people about grammar or spelling, lol. Not out loud, at least.)

Ok this is pretty long. Thaaaaat's enough for now I think. No German words tonight because I'm too lazy and I'm not on my own computer and excusesexcusesexcuses. Man, I haven't even gotten to how amazingly good Il-2 Battle of Stalingrad is. I'll do that some other time I guess.

G'niiiiight. May your wubbly be as warm and snuggly as mine.

Until we meet again...